brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
