**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
