Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize