I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Please don't give away my fajitas
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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