it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
