I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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