She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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