Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
