My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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