Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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