Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
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If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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