..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
