awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
