He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
