you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
