Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
