great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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