Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
