I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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