I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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