I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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