He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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