I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
