glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
