Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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