tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
wow bdsm is so cute
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
