How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
