Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
