I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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