I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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