I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
