if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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