your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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