Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
