The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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