i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
