Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
