so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I love having hate sex.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
