Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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