are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
