Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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