I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
