I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize