watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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