you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I want to be your penis for a week.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Randomize