Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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