he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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