no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
