There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
