Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
