What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
