Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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