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Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
