Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
